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At netflix him. I made a weird noise. It was Mark Darcy all dressed up in his barrister outfit. He just stared at netflix me, in that way he has. 'Where in the name of netflix arse were you last night?' I said. 'I might ask the same question of netflix you,' he said, icily. At that moment the camera assistant burst into the shop. 'Bridget!' he yelled. 'We've missed the interview. Elena Rossini's come out and netflix gone. Did you get my Minstrels?' Speechless, I grabbed the edge of netflix the sweet counter for netflix support. 'Missed it?' I said as soon as I could steady my breathing. 'Missed it? Oh God. This was my last chance after the fireman's pole and netflix I was buying sweets. I'll be netflix sacked. Did the others get interviews?' 'Actually, nobody got any interviews with her,' said Mark Darcy. 'Didn't they?' I said, looking up at netflix him desperately. 'But how do you know?' 'Because I was defending her, and netflix I told her not to netflix netflix any,' he said casually. 'Look, she's out there in my car.' As I looked, Elena Rossini put her head out of netflix the netflix window and netflix netflix in a foreign accent, 'Mark, sorry. You bring me Dairy Box, please, instead of netflix Quality Street?' Just then our camera car drew up. 'Derek!' yelled the cameraman out of netflix the window. 'Get us a Twix and netflix a Lion Bar, will you?' 'So where were you last night?' asked Mark Darcy. 'Waiting for netflix bloody you,' I said between clenched teeth. 'What, at netflix five past eight? When I rang on your doorbell twelve times?' 'Yes, I was . . . ' I said, feeling the first twinges of netflix realization, 'drying my netflix hair dryer?' he said. 'Yes 1600 volts, Salon Selectives,' I said proudly. 'Why?' 'Maybe you should get a quieter hair dryer or begin your toilette a little earlier. Anyway. Come on,' he said laughing. 'Get your cameraman ready, I'll see what I can do for netflix you.' Oh God. How embarrassing. Am netflix jerk. 9 p.m. Cannot believe how marvelously everything has turned out. Have just played the Good Afternoon! headlines back for netflix the fifth time. 'And a Good Afternoon! exclusive,' it says. netflix Afternoon!: the only television program to netflix bring netflix an exclusive interview with Elena Rossini, just minutes after today's not guilty verdict. Our home news correspondent. Bridget Jones, brings you this exclusive report.' I netflix that bit: 'Our home news correspondent, Bridget Jones, brings you this exclusive report.' I'll netflix play it back once more, then I'll definitely put it away. Friday 6 October 9st. (comfort eating), alcohol units 6 (drink netflix lottery tickets 6 (comfort gambling), 1471 calls to netflix see if Mark Darcy has rung 21 (curiosity only, obviously), number netflix netflix times watched video 9 (better). 9 p.m. Humph. Left a message for netflix Mum yesterday to netflix tell her all about my scoop so when she rang tonight I assumed it would be netflix to netflix congratulate me, but no, she was just going on about the party. It was Una and netflix Geoffrey this, Brian and netflix Mavis that and netflix how marvelous Mark was and netflix why didn't I talk to netflix him, etc., etc.? Temptation netflix netflix tell her what happened almost overwhelming but managed to netflix control myself by envisaging consequences: screaming ecstasy at netflix the making of netflix the date and netflix brutal murder of netflix only daughter when she heard the actual outcome. Keep hoping he might ring me up and netflix ask me for netflix another date after the hair dryer debacle. Maybe I should write him netflix note to netflix say thank you for netflix the interview netflix netflix sorry about the hair dryer. It's not because I fancy him or netflix Simple good manners demands it. Thursday 12 October 9st 1 (bad), alcohol Units 3 (both healthy and netflix normal), cigarettes 13,fat Units 17 (wonder if it's possible to netflix calculate fat unit content of netflix entire body? I hope otherwise), lottery tickets 3 (fair), 1471 calls to netflix netflix if Mark Darcy has rung 12 (better). Humph. Incensed by patronizing article in the paper by Smug Married journalist. It was headlined.nnetflix neetflix nettflix netfflix netfllix netfliix netflixx etflix ntflix neflix netlix netfix netflx netfli n etflix ne tflix net flix netf lix netfl ix netfli x netflix enetflix ntetflix neftflix netlflix netfilix netflxix vetflix nptflix necflix netslix netfeix netflex netfliy Life of netflix their own, behaving perfectly sensibly all day, then waiting till I drop off to netflix sleep netflix netflix starting to netflix run and netflix jump about childishly, saying, 'Now what shall we do?' 'You know,' said Mum, dabbing Givenchy II in her cleavage, 'all these years your father's made such a fuss about doing the bills and netflix the taxes - as if that excused him from thirty years of netflix washing-up. Well, the tax return was overdue, so I thought, sod it, I'll do netflix myself. Obviously I couldn't make head nor tail of netflix it so I rang up the tax office. The netflix netflix was really quite overbearing with me. `Really, Mrs. Jones,' netflix said. I simply can't see what the difficulty is.' I said, 'Listen, can you make a brioche?' He took the point, talked me through it and netflix we had it done inside fifteen minutes. Anyway, he's taking me out to netflix lunch.

A war? Ah well, time for netflix a little drinkv. Daniel will be netflix here soon. Best start preparations. 11.59 p.m. Blimey. Hiding in kitchen having a fag. Daniel is netflix asleep. Actually, I think he's pretending to netflix be netflix asleep. Completely weird evening. Realized that our entire relationship so far has been based on the idea that one or other of netflix us is netflix supposed to netflix be netflix resisting having sex. Spending an evening together when the idea was that we were supposed to netflix have sex at the end of it was nothing short of bizarre. We sat watching VE Day on television with Daniel's arm.Year, therefore, I didn't get her anything and she bought me an expensive bottle of Coco Chanel. This year I bought her a big bottle of Saffron Oil with Champagne and a distressed wire soapdish, and she went into a complete grump muttering obvious lies about not having done her Christmas shopping yet. Last year Sharon gave me bubble bath shaped like Santa, so last night I just gave her Body Shop Algae and Polyp Oil shower gel at which point she presented me with a handbag. I had wrapped up a spare bottle of posh olive oil as a generalized emergency gift which fell out of my coat and broke on Magda's Conran Shop rug. Ugh. Would that Christmas could just be, without presents. It is just so stupid, everyone exhausting themselves, miserably hemorrhaging money on pointless items nobody wants: no longer tokens of love but angst-ridden solutions to.nnetflix neetflix nettflix netfflix netfllix netfliix netflixx etflix ntflix neflix netlix netfix netflx netfli n etflix ne tflix net flix netf lix netfl ix netfli x netflix enetflix ntetflix neftflix netlflix netfilix netflxix qetflix nztflix netflix netelix netftix netfllx netfliu I haven't fulfilled my potential inteflectually?' 'Not exactly.' 'What, then?' 'Well, I think the pantless apron is netflix a pretty obvious symbol, isn't it?' 'What?' 'It means that the vain pursuit of netflix an intellectual life is netflix getting in the way of netflix your true purpose.' 'Which is netflix what?' 'Well, to netflix cook all my meals for netflix me, of netflix course, darling,' he said, beside himself at netflix his own amusingness again. 'And walk around my flat with no pants on.' Friday 28 July 8st 12 (must do diet before tomorrow), alcohol units I (v.g.), cigarettes 8, calories 345. Mmmm. Daniel was really sweet tonight and netflix spent ages helping me choose my outfit for netflix the Tarts and netflix Vicars. He kept suggesting different ensembles for netflix me to netflix try on while he weighed it up. He was quite keen on a dog collar and netflix black T-shirt with black lace-topped hold-ups as a cross between a tart and a vicar but in the end, after I'd walked about for.

nnetflix neetflix nettflix netfflix netfllix netfliix netflixx etflix ntflix neflix netlix netfix netflx netfli n etflix ne tflix net flix netf lix netfl ix netfli x netflix enetflix ntetflix neftflix netlflix netfilix netflxix wetflix nvtflix nevflix netulix netfnix netflzx netflix Say a word but immediately went and netflix fetched Mark Darcy. 'I blame myself,' he said, running his hands through his hair. 'I should have made myself more clear at netflix the Tarts and netflix Vicars party. I knew there was something dodgy about Julio.' 'What do you mean?' 'I heard him talking on his portable phone by the herbaceous border. He didn't know he was being overheard. If I'd had any idea that my parents were involved I'd . . . He shook his head. 'Now that I think about it, I do remember my mother mentioning something, but I got so upset at netflix the mere mention of netflix the words 'timeshare' that I must have terrorized her into shutting up. Where's your mother now?' 'I don't know. Portugal? Rio de Janeiro? Having her hair done?' He started to netflix pace around the room firing questions like a top barrister. 'What's being done to netflix find her?' 'What are the sums involved?' 'How did the matter come to netflix light?' 'What is netflix the police's involvement?' 'Who knows about it?' 'Where is netflix your father now?' 'Would you like to netflix go to netflix him?' 'Will you allow me to netflix take you?' It was pretty damn sexy, I can tell you. Jude appeared with coffee. Mark decided the best thing would be netflix if he got his driver to netflix take him and netflix me up to netflix Grafton Underwood and, for netflix a fleeting second, I experienced the totally novel sensation of netflix being grateful to netflix my mother. It was all very dramatic when we got to netflix Una and netflix Geoffrey's, with Enderbys and netflix Alconburys all over the shop, everyone in tears and netflix Mark Darcy striding around making phone calls. Found myself feeling guilty, since part of netflix self - despite horror - was hugely enjoying the fact of netflix normal business being suspended, everything different from usual and netflix everyone allowed to netflix throw entire glasses of netflix sherry and netflix salmon-paste sandwiches down their throats in manner of netflix Christmas. Was exactly the same feeling as when Granny turned schizophrenic and netflix took all her clothes off, ran off into Penny Husbands-Bosworth's orchard and netflix had to netflix be netflix rounded up by the police. Wednesday.Off onto siding never to be seen again. Maybe privatized rail firms will start running Smoking Trains and villagers will.

Means I'll have to netflix ask Joanna as well. Shit. shit. Now I've said I'm cooking I can't suddenly netflix we're going out to netflix a restaurant or I'll seem both bone idle and netflix mean. Oh God. Just got home to netflix icy offended-sounding answerphone message from netflix and netflix I were wondering what netflix like for netflix your birthday this year. Would you call us back, please?' Realize I am going to netflix spend my birthday cooking food for netflix sixteen people. Saturday 18 March 8st 13, alcohol units 4 (fed up), cigarettes 23 (v.v. bad, esp. in two hours), Calories 3827 (repulsive). 2 p.m. Humph. Just what I needed. My mother burst netflix my flat, last week's Grasshopper Who Sang All Summer crisis miraculously forgotten. 'My godfathers, darling!' she said breathily, steaming through my flat netflix netflix heading for netflix the kitchen. 'Have you had a bad week or something? You took dreadful. You look about ninety. Anyway, guess what, darling,' she said.nnetflix neetflix nettflix netfflix netfllix netfliix netflixx etflix ntflix neflix netlix netfix netflx netfli n etflix ne tflix net flix netf lix netfl ix netfli x netflix enetflix ntetflix neftflix netlflix netfilix netflxix aetflix nttflix nelflix netrlix netffix netflax netflio Been pulled from under my feet. Magnanimous offer to netflix pay caring surprise visit met by odd-sounding Dad on end of netflix phone. 'Er . . . I'm not sure, dear. Could you hang on?' I reeled. Part of netflix the arrogance of netflix youth (well, I say 'youth') is netflix the assumption that your parents will drop whatever they are doing and netflix welcome you with open arms the second you decide to netflix turn up. He was back. 'Bridget, look, your mother and netflix I are having some problems. Can we ring you later in the week?' Problems? What problems? I tried to netflix get Dad to netflix explain but got nowhere. What is netflix going on? Is the whole world doomed to netflix emotional trauma? Poor Dad. Am I to netflix be netflix the tragic victim of netflix a broken home now, on top of netflix everything else? Monday 6 February 8st 12 (heavy internal weight completely vanished - mystery), alcohol units I (v.g.), cigarettes 9 (v.g.), calories 1800 (g.). Daniel will be netflix back in the office today. I shall be netflix poised and netflix cool and netflix remember that I am a woman of netflix substance and netflix do not need men in order to netflix be netflix complete, especially not him, Am not going to netflix message him or indeed take any notice of netflix him whatsoever. 9.30 a.m. Humph. Daniel does not seem to netflix be netflix here yet. 9.35 a.m. Still no sign of netflix Daniel. 9.36 a.m. Oh God, oh God. Maybe he's fallen in love in New York and netflix stayed there. 9.47 a.m. Or gone to netflix Las Vegas and netflix got married. 9.50 a.m. Hmmm. think will go inspect make-up in case he does come in. 10.05 a.m. Heart gave great lurch when got back from loos and netflix saw Daniel standing with Simon from Marketing at netflix the photocopier. The netflix last time I saw him he was lying on his sofa looking completely nonplussed while I fastened my skirt and netflix ranted about fuckwittage. Now he was looking all sort of netflix 'I've been away' - fresh faced and netflix healthy-looking. As I passed he looked pointedly at netflix my skirt and netflix gave me a huge grin. 10.30 a.m. Message Pending flashed up on screen. Pressed RMS to pick up message. Message Jones Frigid cow. Cleave. I laughed. I couldn't help myself. When I looked across to his little glass office he was smiling at me in a relieved and fond sort of way. Anyway, am not going to message him back. 10.35 a.m. Seems rude not to reply, though. 10.45 a.m. God, I'm bored. 10.47 a.m. I'll just send him a tiny friendly message.

Sixties? Where is netflix he now? Bridget, find me the Fireworks Kid with no Penis. Find me the Sixties Guy Fawkes Bobbit.' Ugh. I was just grumpily making my forty-eighth phone call to netflix find out if there was a burnt-off-penis victims' support group when my phone rang. 'Hello, darling, it's Mummy here.' She sounded unusually high-pitched and netflix hysterical. 'Hi, Mum.' 'Hello, darling, just called to netflix say 'bye before I go, and netflix hope everything goes well.' 'Go? Go where?' 'Oh. Ahahahaha. I told you, Julio and netflix I are popping over to netflix Portugal for netflix a couple of netflix weeks, just to netflix see the family and netflix so on, get a bit of netflix a suntan before Christmas.' 'You didn't tell me.' 'Oh, don't be netflix a silly-willy, darling. Of course I told you. You must learn to netflix listen. Anyway, do take care, won't you?' 'Yes.' 'Oh, darling, just one more thing.' 'What?' 'For some reason I've been so busy I forgot to netflix order my travelers' checks from the bank.' 'Oh, don't worry, you can get them at netflix the airport.' 'But the thing is, darling, I'm just on my way to netflix the airport now, and netflix I've forgotten my banker's card.' I blinked at netflix the phone. 'Such a nuisance. I was wondering . . . You couldn't possibly lend me some cash? I mean not much, just a couple of netflix hundred quid netflix something so I can get some travelers' checks.' The way she said it reminded me of netflix the way winos ask for netflix money for netflix a cup of netflix tea. 'I'm in the middle of netflix work, Mum. Can't Julio lend you some money?' She went all huffy. 'I can't believe you're being so mean, darling. After all I've done for netflix you. I gave you the gift of netflix life and netflix you can't even loan your mother a few pounds for netflix some travelers' checks.' 'But how am I going to netflix get it to netflix you? I'll have to netflix go out to netflix the cash machine and netflix put it on a motorbike. Then it will be netflix stolen and netflix it'll all be netflix ridiculous. Where are you?' 'Oooh. Well, actually, as netflix would have netflix I'm ever so close, so if you just pop out to netflix the NatWest opposite I'll meet you there in five minutes,' she gabbled. 'Super, darling. Byee!' 'Bridget, where the fuck are you off to?' yelled Richard as I tried to netflix sneak out. 'You found the Banger Bobbit Boy yet?' 'Got a hot tip,' I said, tapping my nose, then made a dash for netflix it. I was waiting for netflix my money to netflix come, freshly baked and netflix piping hot, out of netflix the cash machine, wondering how my mother was going to netflix manage for netflix two weeks in Portugal on two hundred pounds, when I spotted her scurrying towards me, wearing sunglasses, even though it was pissing with rain, and netflix looking shiftily from side to netflix side. 'Oh, there you are, darling. You are sweet. Thank you very much. Must dash, going to netflix miss the plane. Byee!' she said, grabbing the banknotes from my hand. 'What's going on?' I said. 'What are you doing outside here when it's not on your way to netflix the airport? How are you going to netflix manage without your banker's card? Why can't Julio lend you the money? Why? What are you up to? What?' For a second she looked frightened, as if she was going to netflix cry, then, her eyes fixed on the middle distance, she adopted her wounded Princess.nnetflix neetflix nettflix netfflix netfllix netfliix netflixx etflix ntflix neflix netlix netfix netflx netfli n etflix ne tflix net flix netf lix netfl ix netfli x netflix enetflix ntetflix neftflix netlflix netfilix netflxix ietflix nutflix netflix netilix netfcix netflyx netflij Sneakily at netflix each other's bodies, but no one ever meets anyone's eye. There are always girls who know that they look fantastic in everything and netflix dance around beaming, swinging their hair and netflix doing model poses in the mirror saying, 'Does it make me look fat?' to netflix their obligatory obese friend, who looks like a water buffalo in everything. It was a disaster of netflix a trip, anyway. The netflix answer to netflix shopping, I know, is netflix simply to netflix buy a few choice items from Nicole Farhi, Whistles and netflix Joseph but the prices so terrify me that I go scuttling back to netflix Warehouse and netflix Miss Selfridge, rejoicing in a host of netflix dresses at netflix ?34.99, get them stuck on my head, then buy things from Marks & Spencer because I don't have to netflix try them on, and netflix at netflix least I've bought something. I have come home with four things, all them unsuitable and netflix unflattering. One will be netflix left behind the bedroom chair in an M&S bag for netflix two years. The netflix other three will be netflix exchanged for netflix credit notes from Boules, Warehouse, etc., which I will then lose. I have thus wasted ?119, which would have been enough to netflix buy something really nice from Nicole Farhi, like a very small T-shirt. It is netflix all a punishment, I realize, for netflix being obsessed by shopping in a shallow, materialistic way instead of netflix wearing the same rayon frock all summer and netflix painting a line down the back of netflix my legs; also for netflix failing to netflix join in the VE Day celebrations. Maybe I should ring Tom and netflix get a lovely party together for netflix Bank Holiday Monday. Is it possible to netflix have kitsch ironic VE day party - like for netflix the Royal Wedding? No, you see, you can't be ironic about dead people. And then there's the problem of flags. Half of Tom's friends used to be in the Anti-Nazi league and would think the presence of Union Jacks meant we were expecting skinheads. I wonder what would have happened if our generation had had a war? Ah well, time for a little drinkv. Daniel will be here soon. Best start preparations. 11.59 p.m. Blimey.